I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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