did you get engaged???
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
