I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
