ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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