honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize