I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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