i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
