Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
