Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
