guys are only as good as the porn they watch
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
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