Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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