I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Randomize
