..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Randomize
