whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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