you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
