we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize