you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
