Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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