i don't like sucking hair
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
