Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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