I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
