Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
