I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
