Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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