come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
