i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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