Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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