The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
