this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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