sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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