I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
dude i'm inner monologue high
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
