dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
