ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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