its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize