Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Randomize
