No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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