The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
