The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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