I swear she didn't look like that last week.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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