and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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