I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
