I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
