dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
i just had sex bonerless
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
