He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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