Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
