There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
