I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
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