i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
