1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Randomize
