We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize