Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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