I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
