don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
