Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
