you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
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