you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
