First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Randomize
