I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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