Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
