Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
