i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
kristin has been a bad kristin
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
