Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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