i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize