the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
