so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
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