..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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