I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
