Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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