Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
