4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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