dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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