i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
