Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Randomize