i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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