p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
My penis needs a shock collar
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
