She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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